He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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