My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
