we're blogging at a bar
plz talk dirty to me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
