Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
