so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
