3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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