so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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