if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
