I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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