Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
