Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In other news, I just burned my penis
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
