I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
