I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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