U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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