Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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