I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
