This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
