I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
