am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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