bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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