he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
