chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
