We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
