Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
