clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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