airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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