everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
