Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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