I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
