Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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