yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
