dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
