my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
