eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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