She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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