Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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