Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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