Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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