I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
