I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
