What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
