dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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