i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
