So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
