How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize