that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
