"it" just moved
I don't think brook has ever known best
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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