everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
