Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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