Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
