I feel great
I just peed on a car
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
