I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
