Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Alive.
So much puke
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
