I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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